President Trump Fires National Security Adviser John Bolton

President Trump Fires National Security Adviser John Bolton

-You guys, Jennifer Lopez
is my guest tonight! [ Cheers and applause ] Jennifer is here promoting
her new movie, “Hustlers,” which is about
a group of strippers who steal money from wealthy men
on Wall Street. [ Cheers and applause ] Jennifer has done
the impossible — she made a movie
that both President Trump and Bernie Sanders can enjoy. [ Cheers and applause ] It’s impossible. -Yeah. -Let’s get to the big news
out of Washington. Earlier today, President Trump
announced over Twitter that he fired his national
security adviser, John Bolton. Yep, Trump tweeted Bolton’s
services were no longer needed and that he strongly disagreed
with many of his suggestions. Bolton thought we should
continue the war in Afghanistan, and Trump thought
we should continue the war with Chrissy Teigen. [ Laughter ] They didn’t agree on that. [ Applause ] Pretty soon
after Trump’s tweets, Bolton responded on Twitter
by saying, “I offered to resign last night,
and President Trump said, ‘Let’s talk about it tomorrow.'” [ Laughter ] Trump was like, “Technically
I am talking about it tomorrow.” I mean, Bolton really
should have seen this coming. Every kid on Earth knows
“let’s talk about it tomorrow” means you’re definitely
not getting that pony. Can we see a picture
of John Bolton? Yeah, now that he’s —
Now that he’s out of a job, Bolton said he’s going to
spend more time with his fellow walruses. [ Laughter ] I’m kidding. I’m just kidding.
I’m kidding. Bolton actually said
he’s gonna go head west and “go pan for gold
in dem der hills!” [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] “Come on.
Aw, chicken scratch!” -“Ohh! Daggumit!” -It’s not all bad news
for Bolton. I mean, if he wants to keep
his job, he can just shave his mustache and show up
for work tomorrow. It’s like, “Who’s the new guy?
I like him. Welcome aboard.” But Trump says that he’ll name a new national security adviser
next week. I’m a little worried because so far his number -one choice
is The General. [ Laughter ] Some more news —
Last night, Trump went to North Carolina for a rally,
and right after he arrived, a bolt of lightning struck close
to Air Force One. Check it out. Look at this.
Ooh. It’s weird. For a few minutes,
everything Trump tweeted was spelled exactly right. [ Laughter ] -Wow.
-Thankfully everyone was fine. But I think we have a picture of the President
getting off the plane. Is that true?
Yeah, there he is. -That’s not good. [ Applause ] -But it’s smart for Trump
to hit the campaign trail because a new poll is showing his approval rating
is at just 38%. Trump didn’t seem too upset.
He was like, “The only polls I care about now
are the ones in strip clubs. Go see ‘Hustlers.’
Out this weekend.” [ Cheers and applause ] And now Trump
is doing the best he can to boost his approval rating. Today he took a Sharpie
and turned the 38 into an 88. -Ohh!
-Hey, this is big. Apple unveiled
its new iPhones today, and everyone’s excited
’cause the new version has three cameras on the back. -Ohh.
-Yeah. Apple says it takes
such clear selfies, you’ll find chins
you never knew you had. They also introduced
a new Frogger game for their Apple Arcade service. ‘Cause nothing says cutting-edge
like the hottest game from 1981. Guys, it’s currently Fashion
Week here in New York City. And this is exciting, right?
Fashion Week! [ Cheers and applause ] This year, many designers are showing off
some interesting new looks. For example,
one designer debuted something a little strange —
a bejeweled beard. Look at this. It’s actually part of
their Wolf Blitzer Collection. I saw one of the hot new trends
this year are tiny purses. Take a look at this. Yeah, perfect if you only
want to carry one Altoid. -Oh.
-Yeah. It’s tiny, but somehow it still takes you
10 minutes to find your keys. You’re like, “Where…?” I just heard that Kanye West
just purchased a $14-million ranch in Wyoming, where he’ll raise
horses and cattle. Yeah, horses and cattle. So, Kanye,
get ready to scoopy de poop. [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] Poopy-di scoop.
Scoopy de poop. And, finally,
there’s a new version of Monopoly out
called Ms. Monopoly, where women get paid
more than men. [ Cheers and applause ] There’s the box.
There’s the box right there. Yeah, the Monopoly Guy
got the boot, so between him and John Bolton, it’s been a rough day
for old guys with mustaches.

81 comments on “President Trump Fires National Security Adviser John Bolton

  1. Maybe Chrissie Tiegen should take Bolton's job. She's smart and not evil, so she already has two more things going for her than anyone else in the administration, past or present.

  2. Beat Trump by supporting Bernie! Please donate to Bernie Sanders' 2020 Presidential campaign at…

  3. I don't care who's in the White House, we're better off without war hawks like Bolton in the cabinet, never understood why Trump brought the warpig on board.

  4. Yes, John Bolton joins the illustrious ranks of John Brennan, John McCain, George Bush, Sr., James Clapper, Andrew McCabe, James Comey, Robert Mueller, Christopher Steele, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page and other Resist! heroes.

  5. To The North Carolina Lightning, why did you forsake us!? YOU HAD ONE TARGET AND ONE JOB!! 😭 Sure the pilots + crew are innocent, but for the sake of America + other countries … 😰


  7. If we have learned anything over the last few years and last week, Trump retroactively has the records modified, be it with a Sharpie, from bullying with his band of lemmings, through his TV stooges, or from his orifice of lies. Count on it, he's pretending to have fired the Walrus of the White House. The GOP are Trump's lemmings they will be jumping off the cliff very soon. #GOPTRumpLemmings

  8. Does anyone remember the wailing And gnashing of teeth when Bolton was added to the team – now they get their wish and ridicule is the order of the day ….

  9. Samsung S10 has 3 cameras… Apple is always several months behind but everyone thinks it is awesome when they do it

  10. Fallon submitted to the mainstream media cucks. He could have been unique and stand alone from these other twats at night. Instead he capitulated. His interview with trump was real and yet he took a knee to suck the dicks of his masters.

  11. so it makes women feel worse when they lose! we gave you more money the whole game and you still couldn't win!

    But that's stupid because it does exactly what they're fighting against. They want equal pay in the workforce, so they took a game where all the players are treated equally and playing by the same rules, a fair game, and then gives one sex more than the other. Why the hell is the stupid audience applauding that!?!

  12. They should ban late night TV on 9-11. To joke about stuff even if its unrelated to what happened that day is disrespectful to those who lost loved ones. Shame on NBC and jimmy Fallon

  13. This Quote Explains The American Trump Evangelist Low I.Q. Voter and Why
    They Worship a Moron President:

    A belief is not merely a idea the mind possesses;
    it is a idea that possesses the mind. [ Robert Qxton Bolton]

     The nobody is another American Breeding Swine named Jenna Ellis Rives
    from the Trump 2020 Advisory Board. Her rhetoric is exact-same as Sarah
    Huckabee Sanders, she speaks Gobbel Dey Goop and moronic logical
    fallacies [which the low comprehending 68 I.Q. Trump Voter actually
    understands, ] Having lived in America since 1949, you come to
    understand that Americans are Gross Stupid Beasts, and invite contempt
    by their stubborn insolence and deliberate anti-intellectualism
    .American's Eat their Young.

  14. I wish everyone would stop referring to donni jackass do little as ‘president’. He’s a moron and dropping the suffix will be best for everyone in the world. It will also most certainly cause him to self implode from the toxicity of the trans fat diet which is sieving from his porous face of blackheads. That’s right Dumb-donni-do-little you have more blackheads on that ugly mug than whiteheads. Mr. white supremacist grandmaster wanna be.

  15. In the new monopoly game, women earn more than men. So do they have to pay for the drinks, buy houses, rings & stuff for their men too now?

  16. Making a Monopoly game where women earn more than men is ridiculously sexist. Turns out some of the right-wing assholes were right. Give them an inch, and they will take everything. They don't want equality, they want it all. It's disturbing at this point…

  17. I believe that John Bolton was one of the individuals that fed the whistleblower with information.

    FBI Officials Wanted To Charge Hillary Clinton — Turns Out, They Should Have…

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