Status Abnormis – European Tour 2016 (English subs)

Status Abnormis – European Tour 2016 (English subs)


(excited gibberish) OOOOOOH YEeeeeeeeee today i’m testing- thanks for the contribution… gift… (???) to… hirvosen pentti is it broken? seems like not (stress and anxiety blowing through jere’s lips) i hear neck fractures are… …the most important part to check after a flight NOTHING (loving kiss) percfet holy cow there’s THOR in the tv just now what? thor… what the fuck is a spiderpig??????? (anxiety intensifies) der clochard we are coming everywhere we go, there’s always a road repair project going on the world is a extreme makeover (Sunfire from the album AMOR FATI) (tesla coil) there’s a roadblock (nikke spouting “let’s go” in the background) people just can’t drive you can see the der clochard sign pretty easily here it’s… look……. there right just now (gigglity gee) here we are ARSE a man hit my own head(???) ok so where are all the hoes? (intense stare implying that the previous question was joke) there’s our red carpet, why aren’t we there? WHERE how does it feel to smoke inside? IT FEELS REALLY GOOD there are no feelings left in jere he dfjghdjfsg what i’ve seen him be excited about today was rolling papers and being able to smoke tobacco inside the soundcheck begins only three hours late it’s alright… (random drunken gibberish and yodeling) (singing) beer and balls in the eyes (dipping a tampon in tabasco-shot residue) (EXIT SMASHED – great thrash from hamburg) is it good? yeah it was good just fine (HUMAN DEBRIS – great melodeath, also from Hamburg) last minute rehearsals we decided to play a cover as an encore tell me GO AWAY go away (STATUS ABNORMIS – thats us silly) i took a piss with joke the shitter’s clogged yes come to poop in germany really (CORAXO – great avant garde jazz black death melodic from finland) it’s hard to roll a cig at the same time oh bugger i’m exhausted first gig done a punk-style gig in the local vastavirta (a legendary finnish venue similiar in style with der clochard) and we still haven’t seen any local hookers (faintly) oh the horror then towards essen towards essen then yes it was pretty muddy yesterday but i dont think it’s getting any better from this on (CLEARLY NOT) (sound of bad spirits of touring life takign control of nikkes body) someone left a thing like that ein schnutpurck on the roof GER: en nusche
ENG: nuts is this- what the fuck is this yours=? goddamm hell these things rotate the earth (source: www.wikipedia.yes) satan full speed vittu well said (local classical radio station playing at the background while anxiety and frustration takes over the car along with +36 celcius of hotness) uh oh he fiddled his balls and took a huff them from time to time and then at some point he woke me up like he fiddled his fingers on my nose (eww) (hehe) he is in that way a guy with exceptional attributes in fairness-stat is the shitters workign again? (clearly not) (jere talking about ice hockey as if he knew anything about it) (“buying tickets from sebastian and anglerfish from HD”-simulator beta teaser trailer) lets play im inside a gig in germany for satans glory what if one is to light a bottle on fire that’s human debris and and exit smashed leaving the venue (while blasting david hasselhoff) bye bye bye bye the first place to crash in essen sadly this is just a one night stand wow there is even a window how luxurious a city (joke updating his tinder account) (joke in the background) what kind of smoking simulation are you playing? lets take promos here i’m too shy to do that don’t be ashamed hahhah well shit there is water coming out of jeres booty (a real goddamn choir singing) (snickers) (sexy funk music playing on the background) the yoghurt now has its freedom (the only things jere knows in german) “i’m sorry” “i don’t speak german” “thank you” oh shit now they’re coming for me here we go again bye bye germany at the time when you watch this video the time will be just as much as the time is when you watch this video and just that much temperature hotness when you watch this video, the temperature here is just as much as you (what the shit) theree in that video suffer all you people in finland minus degrees summer rain winter and spring put there how does this thing even work use your phone
holy fuck that thing is hot a shower and hell yes where are we at the moment? we are in lands of nether in texas in texas? there is three hundred million celcius degrees of hot in here right now (+38c) lets go say hi to the joker is it warm? what do we have- like one and a half hours of driving left? behind or in front of us i mean most likely both this is here – looks like Nivala (Sophia from the album AMOR FATI) lets leave the car here for starters SMOKES LETS GO we arrived in Ghent Belgium trying to find the place to sleep it’s the yellow one i guess fourty four this must be it you look shiny today your baldness i almost grabbed antti’s hand (which is apparently funny) this is life city centre – this is what it has to look like look at that tower holy fuck boys statourists abnormis we got to the airport and I ran to the section which said “Copenhagen) where the luggage rolls around yeah so our luggage was elsewhere waiting for us i just walked past it
luckily we saw them yes yes yes yeees antti what do we have here? warm air weather temperature is it… … hot? warm what do we have here? drum tobacco and hangover anxiety ALRIGHT welcome to this travelling eh- uh- PROGRAM – jere’s traveling journeys, hello to all right now we are in france, a town called Alluin and here we have a restaurant – “Le Capitanière” and right there you can see the clit… bush and soon we are going to these small… … eco lodges yeah and there comes joke and apparently alexander to show us around and we’ll get back to you later oh blimey how i loathe those little buggers WATCH OUT that was the third gig of the tour do you have feel good yeah, now that i have water so what are we doing today im drunk lets go to the UK the time is very little (only 06:00 time) we are tired and we reek of putrefaction surprisingly it started to rain as we arrived here where are we now+ we are in Calais, france we got a earlier ferry cuz we arrived so early the one we were gonna take leaves in a couple of hours onwards to the UK then chappies (fart) welcome to this ship Ship for Singles- realityshow my name is Jere i’m not single this time the Ship for Singles ferry route is from Calais, France to Brighton, England (not) all the single people… yeah i can see something on the horizon the land of brits look at the car on the left where it has… umm the steering wheel on the right side so? the ones infront of us has too almost every one of them has OHHHH NOOO we came to a country where everything is wrong MIRRORLAND oh snap the coppers remember to drive on the wrong side joke i’ll try-
rememeber to back up top of the morning to all you laddies and lassies now we have arrived to england the canarian isles of UK (wtf) behind me you can see the white coast rock things of Dover there¨’s some castle over there lots of
castles lots of
buildings (old) lots of
people who are … british and they drive on the left side of the road now we continue to the Brighton of UK i don’t know, but yes
i don’t know i don’t know but kyrvänsyylä you are man (Call of the Void from the album Call of the Void) chaotic shit road chaos i was driving forgot which side I should drive because the brighton chaos nah you did very good joke very good considering that the traffic arrangements here suck ass anyway, we are here now in the Haunt (the venue) physically intact but mentally shattered (joel, jere and sebastian from HD feating during the Coraxo-gig) and that was the brighton-gig driving towards our rented apartment right now remember that the other drivers come from the wrong side are we going to some kind of beach party? oh shit we are at the beach tomi (coraxo) says hi joke, are you still drunk? a little joke, you went for a swim, tell us how it was greetings to earth sea currents and… fuck off we are in some kind of ass joke led us here CARISLOADED alright next stop: london there’s a sheep who has a magpie standing on it’s back no shit really (Earthanasia from the album Call of the Void) “stay on the right side, A3, heading to central london” (BURP) here we go – the last gig of the tour i’m shining my stick we’re at london we played our first “big boys in a big city”-gig in Helsinki like, few months back and now we’re playing in fucking london we went to hamburg essen what was the town in blegium fukken eernegem yeah yesterday at brighton now london don’t drink this drink (yes it is what it looks like) …maybe you’ll learn it during the tour… it’s over tour is over -AND NOW IT REALLY BEGINS…
-I INSTRUCT YOU TO GO INTO ASS WITH THAT CAMERA YES, FINALLY i can stop filming we are on a journey to somewhere nikke here is sporting the romantic loreal hairproduct advertisment hair we have travelled a couple of hours now or three four i guess we have atleast 6 hours ahead of us an assmassage please an assmassage please
when we get home (approving nod) YES that is what we hope (angry gibberish implying that returning home is not such a happy thing after all) (can you see any happiness or joy in these eyes) WHERE ARE WE (pondering) we are in… we are in hell right it’s dark it’s dark
cold it’s dark
cold
and raining a wise utterance for the end, please chappies WATER IS COMING LIKE FROM ESTERIS ASS (desperate tries of half-assed laugh, mostly trying to hide the pain of returning back to normal life)

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